Don’t Put Down Roots on Bad Earth

This isn’t the blog post that I thought I was going to put out. Hopefully I can get that one out by the weekend at the latest. I just really want to touch on how deeply your environment can affect you. Mentally and physically. Let’s take yesterday for example.

My fiancé and I went on a weekend getaway to knock out some Virginia State Parks, stayed in a cutie little cabin and soaked in nature and history all weekend in the Williamsburg/Jamestown Virginia area. It’s one of my happy places and I try to go every year. I left feeling happy, fulfilled, filled with more love and appreciation for my fiancé, inspired to write, and motivated to stay consistent and grow my brand. It was the perfect weekend reset. We got back home and it felt so good to be back in our space and I was ready to tackle on the week and was excited to get content out. Then Monday came along.

It was Brian’s first day back to work since he got his kidney transplant and we woke up and got ready together and left home at the same time. I was ahead of schedule and started driving to the metro station. Of course the day that I’m early for once, I run into a huge backup due to an accident. The GPS rerouted me away from the traffic but I’m sure I wasn’t the only one that got rerouted so there was still traffic and of course I got what felt like every single red light. How I made my train on time, I couldn’t tell you, but I was grateful that I did. I finally get to work and what do you know. A shit show the second I log in.

Without going into any detail (because I can’t), just know I’m tired of dealing with people’s constant fucking urgencies. I’m a paralegal, emergencies happen and are a part of the job. I am completely cognizant of that. But it’s starting to be a weekly thing and it’s extremely tiring. I’m a damn good paralegal but I am flat out exhausted. Exhausted of my hour commute there and back, exhausted of paying almost 400 bucks monthly in metro and parking fare to just get to and from work…. Exhausted of getting home every day almost at 7PM, and again, exhausted of the constant chaos. Not to sound like a broken record if you’ve already read the caption on my Instagram reel, but our nervous systems are just not meant to be wired to constantly live in a state of urgencies/hustle. Your emergency is not my urgency. This isn’t what I want to do for the rest of my life. This isn’t how I want to LIVE the rest of my life, and I also can’t continue allowing it to affect my relationship.

All that to say yes, I’m miserable at my job. It’s not a secret, and I have been looking. In a perfect world I would love to be able to do this full-time, work on my own schedule and at my own leisure. Full-time weekend warrior and blogger/creator. Monetize off writing about my experiences, my travels, my relatable rants, etc. Collaborate with like-minded brands, post my affiliate links (that I really need to stop procrastinating on and get finalized). Like I stated before, I am a damn good paralegal. It’s just not my passion. I don’t care to climb the corporate ladder anymore. Been there, done that, made the money. None of that is fulfilling anymore. Is the money great? Sure. But money is not everything and it damn sure doesn’t fill the emptiness that I feel. My passion is nature, the outdoors, being somewhere up on a mountain. My passion is also this. Writing. Creating. Am I delusional to think that that’s something feasible for myself? Is something like that out of reach for me? It’s crazy until it happens. It’s cringe until your blog or your YouTube or your brand period, pops the fuck off. JUST START.

I’ll leave you with this. Don’t put down roots on bad earth. Miserable at your job? What are we doing to change that. I’ve applied for a handful of jobs and although I haven’t interviewed for all I’ve applied for, the simple fact that I’ve even landed interviews in this job market is a blessing. That hometown you hate that you’re dying to get away from? What are you doing to get away? Are you saving money, scoping out different areas, scoping out jobs? You want to start something new? Great. What’s your game plan. The secret is to move. To be consistent. Don’t settle for a life that you don’t want or that you’ve simply outgrown. Life’s too short for that.

xx- GMT